Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Men--Thou Shalt Not--Dress Poorly

Like any individual who works in D.C. and commutes via metro, I see a healthy share of fashion blunders by men and women alike.  While FleurStyle has spent all of its time harping on female eyesores, I wanted to take a moment to give a shout-out to all the men out there whose style choices drive me batty.  Don't get me wrong--I don't generally expect all men to dress like they stepped out of GQ--but c'mon man.  Some of the sh** I have seen... just. don't. fly.

1.   Buy Sh** that Fits
      Okay, so WHY is it so hard for men to buy clothes that fit them properly?  Is it because they lost weight and just haven't gotten around to buying new clothes?  Is it because they think they look good with baggy apparel?  Is it because they just don't care?  WHAT. IS. IT??  I see this on a daily basis on the metro, and while I'm out and about ANYWHERE in the D.C. area.  It drives me insane.  Shirts (dress and casual) that have shoulder seams that nearly touch elbows, gaping spaces between necks and collars, pants that are creating accordion puddles above shoes, and... just... general shapelessness.  Guys aren't the only people who like to see the female form highlighted by well-tailored clothing.  Girls also enjoy a man who wears sh** that fits.  I don't care if your clothes are from Target or Neimans.
2.   White Socks with Dress Shoes
       Don't do it.  'Nuf said.

3.   Ties that are... Gross
      When you don't take the effort to carefully select ties, it shows.  I hate to break it to you guys, but when you buy ties that are from the bargain bin... well... they look like they are from the bargain bin.  I am not saying that all guys need to rush out to Zegna and spend a cool K on ties, but GEEZ.  My corneas cannot take anymore of ties that look like the ones above.  They are scarily omnipresent in the D.C. commuter crowd.  If you're not sure whether your ties are fugly, ask a girl.  She will tell you.  Better yet, call me.  I'll be happy to accompany you on a shopping jaunt.  But no--we will not be going to Kohl's, which is where the majority of the offending ties below originated.

4.   Pleated Pants
      See those hammer pants?  Remember the 80s?  Do you want khaki pants that automatically cause bystanders to conjure up images of you as a one-hit wonder sliding across the dance floor in an unattractive manner?  No?  Then leave the pleats out of the pants equation.

5.   Mandals
      Our dear President caused some fashion strife when he was spotted outside the White House wandering around in some holy hellacious black synthetic mandals.  To see horror, click here.  Yeeeeeah~ as if the mandals weren't bad enough... this outfit made it in two counts of this list.  ***Sigh***

6.   Jorts
      Why would any guy think it's okay to wear these?  I just... I just... don't get it.

7.   Outdated Jeans
      See #5.

8.   Manpris
      I think the only time I have deemed manpris appropriate is when I went rock and wall climbing with some people in Atlanta.  Did this trend start when Rafa started wearing them for his Nike line?  Or was Rafa jumping on the trend's bandwagon.  Thank GOD he stopped.

9.   Socks with Sandals
      Ew.  Just... ew.

10. Unkempt Tees (or anything else)
      We started with a general rule, so we'll end with one.  Didn't your mom teach you not to leave the house in soiled clothes?  If not, I'm telling you now.  Stains, holes, and nasty smells emanating from your apparel is not right.  Do your laundry, buy new clothes, do whatever you need to do.  This includes guys that sweat like a gorilla on the metro, but somehow find the white undershirt too much of a chore.  Right.  Good luck with that. 

1 comment:

  1. District Cut has some great info on tailors here: http://districtcut.com/2010/08/style-question-sleeping-with-your.html